How Cute!!! Really?
Posted on June 30, 2008
How would you react to this comment, “Your babies were 2 1/2 pounds, oh how cute!” All I could do was smile as I couldn’t think of anything to say.
Seriously, do people think premature babies are cute? Is it cute to have a baby struggling to breath? To have a baby hooked up to life saving medical equipment?
I seem to be missing the cuteness is this picture. I don’t understand how anyone could think that a 2 1/2 pound baby would be CUTE.
What is wrong with people?
» Filed Under Premature Births
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29 Responses to “How Cute!!! Really?”
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I have a 25 weeker and hear that all the time. Or the one that is oh he must have been so tiny. well DUh of course he was tiny. Prematurity is such a hard road. Some things people would NEVER know anything about. Even at the MOD some people go their whole career without walking into a NICU. Education is key but not ignorant education.
Nancy Brown
I had a 28 weeker and he weighed 2.5 lbs . I don’t get upset when my someone says my baby is cute or oh he is so tiny . I think people say this because they are making coversation and don’t quite know what to say, I also think you need to lighten up .
My son was born at 26 weeks and has been in the NICU 10 weeks and counting. He was 1.5 lbs at birth and is now about 2.75 lbs. He is both cute and tiny. And I don’t mind either comment from friends, family or even strangers. But we all handle extreme stress extremely differently. I have been mostly upbeat until this week. Wednesday morning I woke up with a mild cold – and I can’t visit my son. We’ve gone through countless respiratory events, three surgeries and a broken leg… and I’m sad because I can’t see him or hold him. We are all so different and the hardest part can be letting others know how they can best support us. Thanks for letting me share. –Anna
I am the mother of two preemie babies. One born at 29 weeks (1lb 13oz) and the other at 26 weeks (1lb 10oz). My son (29wk) is now 7 years old and my daughter is now 1 1/2.
I can understand you concern with how can people say how cute…but you have to remember…they themselves have never been through the hell that you are going through. They don’t know how scary the NICU can be. And when you say people should educate themselves more…I don’t hope to ever have them educated in the fashion that I was TWICE. The first thing they think is “Oh, how tiny and cute!” They have never seen a baby who’s so thin and frail, unabel to breath on their own.
I understand your feelings on this. Make them understand without kicking people in the teeth about not know. You are one of the lucky few to have a true MIRICLE in your life. And for however long you are lent that miricle, use your frustration on better serving the beautiful peace of heaven you were given.
The picture is lovely by the way. I wish I was allowed the privledge of holding my son when he was born. I was lucky enough to have kanga-roo’d my daughter about that size.
Good Luck and God Bless! If you should need advice or support you can always e-mail me.
Sometimes having someone who has been through it helps than talking even to your own family who tells you to stay positive…even when they don’t see what your child is going through.
Hi I’m a mother of a 24 weeker girl. She two now. I’ve heard that and more. Like a previous poster said I think people don’t know what to say. It doesn’t stop you from wanting to choke them though. My little one was 1 pound 5 ounces she’s 2 now. You can see her daily photo blog from the NICU on her site. http://www.babysahanna.com
I hope and pray your preemie the best of health.
It seems that I’ve been a little misunderstood in this short post. My twins were born at 30 weeks gestation. I spent 7 weeks by their side. I never missed a day in the NICU. It was my life. They are my life. I love my children more than life itself.
However, I don’t see why people think premature babies are cute. They are enclosed in incubators, they have wires all over their bodies, and they often times have a breathing device. When my girls were born they weren’t fully developed yet. Why is that cute to some people? Do I think the footprints from when they were first born are cute? Yes. But those footprints also break my heart.
Most premature babies are miracles. My girls are. Miracles I cherish every day!
i have had 2 babies that were extremely premature, one was born at exactly 1 lbs and passed away at 5 days old and then exactly 9 months later i had another extremely premature baby he weighed 1 lbs 6 oz and is 2 months old has been in the nicu for 9 weeks and still counting.hes now at 2 lbs 12 oz. has been back and forth between the ventalator and c-pap since he was born. and now is breathing completely on his own plus has a broken arm but no cast. both of my sons were cute from day one. for those of you who say ” how can you say a baby that small and fighting to breathe is cute” well its easy when its your baby. they look just like a baby born at normal time, they are just smaller. if it was your baby in the nicu having to fight every day, even when they are doing good, they are still having to fight for their life. you will also say they are cute, b-cuz your baby is cute to you no matter what.
my daughter was born november 11, 2008 at 1 pound 9 oz.,after getting over the inital schock of her being that small and thinking that she would’nt make it all i could think about was how beautiful she was and yes how cute dont be hard on people because they’ve never known that constant fear.
i had my daughter at 27 weeks gestation. the day of her birth was december 9,2008 and my due date was march 13,2009. her weight was 2lbs and 1oz and she dropped down to 1lb and 14oz. she is my first child so i didn’t know what to expect so the doctors told me all kinds of bad things that was suppose to scare me but they were wrong she didn’t have a thing wrong with her besides her weight so that should give hope to those to parents that are scared.
My son was born at 30 weeks and weighed 2.7 pounds. Many years before i had two daughters full term and no problems. Yes, he was smaller and had many tubes, wires and other medical devices but, im sorry you could not have shown me anything more “cute” or beautiful than him… I was so happy to have him. Dont get me wrong the stress and guilt was overwhelming and the time watching him fight everyday tore my heart out, but yes he was my cutie and every time i saw him my heart filled up with love and admiration at the strength this little guy had in him. To me the babies in the NICU are “cute” and an inspiration to us all. Im sorry you cant see them that way, you are really missing out on something.
WOW!! I can totaly understand. I myself had 2 normal healthy 7 lb babies then i had my third little girl and she came in this world just a little over 2 lbs too at 29 weeks…so scary!! I didnt know who to blame….but my husband was so gooood about it…he seen a cutie that looked so good and in his eyes was doing great,me on the other hand seen a not so cute baby and didnt know what to do or expect..I was so scared..how could I cope? But now she is 17 mths old..doing great..no health problems and my sweetheart. I thank GOD everyday for allowing her to live and be a part of our family. God bless you all that goes thru the birth of a preemie and thank god for all the technology and loving nurses that guide your hands and heart through such a difficult time.
Thankyou Desiree, I was about to say maybe people say these things because rather than just stare at the person in silence they say the first thing that seems ok.
I’m sure you would be more offended if someone instead said, ” Wow how freaky looking”. By the way, is the pic of your baby?
I know I’d rather hear “how cute”. I interpret that as they are in fact cute because they are tiny and fragile, but they are here, and an example of the miracle of God’s love at best! I would even go as far as to say they are beautiful.
And April, I hope baby has progressed. God bless you.
Recently having a 24 week premature baby girl weighing 705gms / 1pound 90unces!! In my eyes she is everything bit of cute!!! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Of course you can get frightened of all the cords and monitors attatched to a frail baby, but when you feel the strength they have and visually see them n action your heart just melts! Baby Livia holds my hand like she never wants to let go! People do understand, if you talk to the right people. Those right people are those whom bring strength to be able to get through a tough rollercoaster ride you will have if you go down this path, any negative or judgmental influences need to be ignored and disreguarded, and are NOT the people that are your friends. There is no need for bad thoughts.
It is the toughest road I’ve ever walked and luckilly I have only had good vibes from people, especially when Livia has to have heart surgery in 2 days…. My little fighter will be strong!!
If people don’t have anything nice to say they should’t say anything at all! Silence says more than words when you’re on this road!
Thankyou for your stories! It brings hope to light for all of us! xxx
Meagan,
I wish you and your baby health and healing as you and baby Livia prepare for and endure her heart surgery.
Kelly
Megan
I know exactly what your going through..i just had a 28 weeker and its been the hardest 3 weeks of my life..and even though my baby is doing good he only weighs 2 lbs 7 ounces and also needs heart surgery..I would love to know how your babys heart surgery went..as i will be going through the same thing
I lost my son at 20 weeks gestation on Christmas eve 2009. The hospital will not tell me what was wrong and why i went in to labor.
Danielle,
I’m so sorry to hear about your baby. It must be very frustrating that the doctors will not tell you what happened. I’m guessing that they really don’t know, but they should explain to you that they don’t know what caused you to go into labor early rather than allowing you to feel frustrated by their lack of communication.
There are many great resources online to help support you through this time in your life. One of them is http://www.shareyourstory.org (a March of Dimes community of premature parents and loss). Another is Glow in the Woods: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/ which is a community for mothers and couples who have lost a baby.
Sincerely,
Kelly
I recently had a baby boy at 26 weeks gestation, and I think he is not only cute, but beautiful and he is so amazing to watch. He is just like a baby born at full term just miniature. He weighed one pound three ounces, he is a little over three weeks old now and weighs one pound thirteen ounces.
My second child was born at 31 weeks. I had pneumonia at the time and was not permitted in the NICU. He is nearly 33 now, both very intelligent and very good natured. Other than a narrow range but profound learning disability and just the trace of a tendency to autism, he has had little obvious ill effects from from his post natal experiences…the tubes, the wires, the heel pricks, a collapsed lung…you all know the litany. While I can encourage you that most of your babies will do surprisingly well, what I want to share with you is not what happened but why, what was underlying it.
What I did not learn until many years after my son was born was that I was gluten intolerant (a.k.a. celiac disease; gluten is a protein in wheat, rye and barley) or that gluten intolerance is associated with a higher rate of reproductive problems including preterm birth, low birth weight, and autism, among many other things.
Although there has been considerable research in recent years about all this, most doctors are still entirely unaware of the harm that undiagnosed gluten intolerance can cause in pregnancy, that 30-40% of the general population carries either one or both of the main genes associated with it, or that it is more than 4 times more common now than it was just 50 years ago.
It’s a lot to think about but, if you have it, it is something that is likely to be passed on to your children so please do think about it because it can be remedied just by learning to eat differently. Both my children have it, and my grandchildren are also affected. We consider ourselves lucky because my children know about it earlier in their lives than I did and have had good improvements in health from going on a gluten free.
It was refreshing to see your post and photo. And I’m thankful when people who have experienced prematurity first hand really tell the truth about it. Our daughter Madison was born at 30 weeks due to my kidney failure from Lupus Nephritis. She spent 5 weeks at Doernbecher’s NICU in Oregon. Life with a preemie is not easy, and takes such a long time to even feel easy. No one gets it, not one understands, unless they’ve been there themselves. I’m happy to hear of so many other miracle kiddos out there… and so thankful for modern technology that saves our little ones from certain death. There’s a lot to be grateful for, eh?
Hi,
I am currently writing my life story…it is nothing remarkable or special. I am not a celebrity nor am I ‘old’ enough to be writing my life story.
I’m 22. I was born February 29th 1988, at 2lbs 4 Ounces. I’ve always wanted to know what I would have looked like, because my biological family didn’t take pictures.
but I hope your child lives long!!!
my son, jay, was born at 26 1/2 weeks. vented and finally trached, i love my son to death and god has blessed us. he’s turning 3 sept 29 and he’s still trached and he’s talking, walking, skipping, and everything else. god is awsome. he weighed 1lb 12.9oz and he stayed in the hospital the first 10 months of his life. yes it was a struggle hearing the doctors say he’s going to be c.p., he’s not, mentally retarded, he’s not, and every other horrible thing you can think of. I can’t stress enough that god’s grace and mercy brought him through all things!!!!!!!!!!!! be encouraged parents who maybe going the the same thing. stay strong, focused, and keep praying. god bless!!!
Sometimes people just don’t know what to say. How cute might be the one thing they think is least offensive. Would you rather them bring up all the horrible possibilities your child might face? Probably not. I had a son that died at birth and 17 years later people still have no clue what to say when they find out. I must have heard, THANK GOD YOU’RE SO YOUNG, YOU CAN HAVE MORE CHILDREN, a million times, or the ever so popular AT LEAST HE DIDN’T SUFFER! What in the world do you say in such circumstances, I think I would politely say “Yes, my baby IS ADORABLE, please pray for their well being!”
Hi. I have no idea what you are going through, my first baby was 9 lbs 12 oz. I think I carried her for an extra month. When I look at your premature baby, I see a miracle and my eyes fill with tears of joy that you continue to experience the life of your child. Forgive me if I say the wrong thing it is hard for me to express to you that I care so I say stupid things about your cute, small, tiny, amazing, gift of life. I am grateful for the medical care that keeps them alive and I am grateful that I have never experienced what you are going through. Still, I would like to support you so please try to forgive my shortcomings.
Hey I was a premature baby born in 1985, 5 month premature, 1 lb and 4 ounces,Guiness world book of records contacted my father in 2000 he told me there was way to much paperwork involved…I was born at KW hospital in Canada Ontario,I have ADD and respiratory problems but that kinda it… I’m 26 years old now.
I am a patient care tech and I have recently had the oppertunity to work in the NICU. I think its just amazing that someone sooooo tiny can strive. Maybe thats what people really mean when they say things like that. The situation is definately NOT cute but the fact that they are so tiny is CUTE. I just think it is such a MIRICLE that some of them can actually eat, breath, and function enough to live. Sure they have to have assistance with those things untill they are old enough to learn how to do them on their own but it’s awsome that we have the technology to help them.
hello everyone, i have just sat here and read all of your stories. i am 20, married my first love in march, found out i was pregnan in jan and had him at 23 weeks. he was one pound oz. i wasnt even supose to have kids and he is a miracle. god has watched over all of us as well. i have crohns, since almost three years now, its pretty bad. the first year i lost 40 pounds, i was 90 pounds before i got pregnant. but in a way karden, my son, he helped me gained weight with him. he has had alot alot of problems and is still in hospital. now for almost six mnths, i want him home. i miss him its an hour away from where we live. i need some advice i still cry alot.
i just had a micro premie 2 weeks ago. omg this is so scary. the emotions for get about it. i can hold or feed my baby. this one is my 3rd child my other 2 were full term so honestly i expected to have another full term baby but that didnt happen. my baby weighted 1pound and 3ounces the smallest thing i have ever seen. he was born @ 27 weeks gestation. i had preclampsia.
Aw, well I dunno. My brother and I (twins) were born 2 lbs 2 oz and 2 lbs 4oz and we were in the hospital for months and months because we were really sick and had a ton of health problems. (My mom couldn’t see us for awhile because she was sick with pneumonia I think.) However, she didn’t mind that people called us cute and tiny because we were struggling but alive and everyone wanted to see us. Better than having everyone shun away and not know what to do.
We’re 22 now. He’s 6’4″ and in the Army and I’m 5’5″ and completing college. Both of us straight A students, athletic, healthy, and I like to think successful with no mental or health problems. I hope your child grows up healthy and strong too.
Just thought I’d add my story and two cents with the others.