Better BedRest, a Non-Profit Organization (Twin Peas Pod Episode 14)
Posted on August 7, 2008
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I went on vacation and forgot how to setup the interview so that the sound would be clear and crisp. The sound quaility isn’t perfect, but it’s not too bad. I swear I’m getting better at this…
I recognize that many of my listeners are in the world of infertility and might not be worried about bed rest at the current moment. I hope that you’ll all be planning your nurseries soon! But for those that proceed with fertility treatments such as Clomid, IUI, and IVF the chances of becoming pregnant with twins is around 40%. In addition, studies have shown that singleton (single baby) pregnancies resulting from fertility treatments have a slightly higher chance of ending prematurely. Joanie, the founder of Better BedRest, offers a lot of good information during this interview so I encourage you to listen as someday soon it might help you or someone you know.
Better BedRest is a nonprofit organization that provides emotional and financial support to women on bed rest during their pregnancy. I recently read about Better BedRest in a publication that no longer is in print. As a woman who was on bed rest for six weeks, I understand how lonely and frustrating bed rest can be. It’s not a bunch of pregnant women sitting around eating bon bons while their partner waits on them hand and foot. It can be a very stressful and emotional time. I remember my hospitalization like it was yesterday. It was stressful, scary, boring, and lonely. Thanks to organizations like Better BedRest women have an avenue to manage their crisis easier.
Joanie is the founder of Better BedRest, but she too had a personal experience with bed rest and prematurity. Sometimes no matter what we do, our babies come early. She is on a mission to make bed rest during pregnancy less stressful for women and their families. Her organization offers small financial stipends too.
A few of the resources mentioned in this interview are:
Angel Food Ministries - With locations nationwide. They help provide food to families struggling financially at prices substantially lower than grocery retail prices.
National Center for Fathering - featuring blogs and resources on how to manage the relationships or issues around fathering, including marriage and work/family.
National Fatherhood Initiative - Another great resource for dads, soon-to-be dads, and husbands supporting wives.
Sidelines.org - a National High Risk Pregnancy Support Network. They have information and articles about infertility too!
March of Dimes - Website with information about pregnancy complications and an Ask Us Now email link to communicate with a trained health information specialist.
Remember, if you or someone you know is in the middle of a crisis you can always contact your local crisis hot line.
Better BedRest is hosting their annual fundraiser in November. If you would like to donate an item for their silent auction please send an email to Joanie or send the donation directly to Better BedRest at PO Box 212, Savage, MD 20763.
» Filed Under Premature Births, pregnancy | 2 Comments
Low Birthweight Tied to Infertility, Not Treatments
Posted on August 7, 2008
I’m assuming that if you travel through the Internet for information about infertility you’ve run across the recent articles that tie infertility, the medical issue, to low birthweight, i.e., premature births. I find myself sitting smack dab in the middle on how I feel about prematurity stemming more from infertility, the disease, than from fertility treatments.
On one hand, I feel like the infertile community has another darn hill to climb. It’s not bad enough we were stuck with medical conditions that impact our ability to get pregnant, but now we find out that because of our infertility, we are at risk for delivering a low birthweight baby (or babies). Thanks for the double whammy! I rather enjoyed the experience and hope that some day women will not have to endure what I did to make it to the other side.
On the other, I am thankful that the resulting low birthweight babies are not CAUSED by fertility treatments. If that had been the case any potential future coverage by insurance companies would be nil. However, now with low birthweight being tied to “infertility” I’m curious as to how this may impact “existing condition” clauses.
It appears that the study had a few flaws (based on other new research) in that “fertile” women seem to be those that have already had a child (at least that is what I gleamed out of the articles). According to a different study, if a woman has had a previous pregnancy (single baby) she is less likely to deliver her second child (or twins) prematurely (IVF or not). One article on this topic of low birthweight specifically mentioned it was the “woman’s” infertility while another stated “couple’s” infertility. A little consistency would be nice.
So, even though I keep up hope that someday insurance will cover fertility treatments, I think more detailed studies are still necessary. What are your thoughts?
» Filed Under Infertility, Premature Births, pregnancy | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
Two Women, Two Struggles
Posted on August 5, 2008
In one weekend I had conversations with two women about infertility. One woman is just starting her journey, the other reliving the emotion of what will never be.
Sally, is fairly young and is just starting her journey with infertility by learning the terminology and asking questions. When Sally mentioned to me that she wanted to have a child I have to admit I was shocked. In all of our conversations about my own infertility, Sally has never said a word about wanting to be a mom. I’ve never asked her the question, “Do you want to have kids?” I just assumed that she didn’t want to. After all, not every woman wants to be a mom.
We have known each other for about six months so I understand she may have needed some time to gather the courage to discuss her medical issues. She is in the initial phases of doctors appointments and tests. When we were talking I could see her apprehension about fertility treatments, but more importantly, how long everything was going to take. She is friends with an Ob/Gyn so she has some advantages in dealing with RE’s that many of us don’t have. Her friend is helping her decide which doctor to consult with and even has offered to join her during her appointments.
This is the first time that one of my close friends has been impacted by primary infertility. Another of my good friends is dealing with secondary infertility after a miscarriage. Most of my friends that have experienced infertility are friends that I’ve made through RESOLVE. It’s one of those areas where I’m not sure how much help to offer. I don’t want to be intrusive, yet I want to help her as much as she’ll allow me too. Any tips?
The other woman, Suzie, is in her mid 50’s and her infertility issues are returning to the surface of her heart. I don’t know how many times I started to cry during our 30 minute conversation as I lost track. Suzie is one of those women who you know would have been a fabulous mom, like Pamela at Coming2Terms.
I don’t know if it is just because I’m overly senstitive to the topic of infertility, but Suzie was talking with another woman who just kept going on and on about her son starting college. I stood there and listened while I tried willing this woman to stop talking about her son. But she continued for another 5 minutes or more. Suzie is used to people talking about their children in front of her and seems to handle it well. However, when she and I were in a private conversation she started to sob as she said, “I’ll never be the mother of the bride,” and “I’ll never see my son graduate high school.” Okay, I’m crying as I type this.
Suzie wants to change the world and she wants to use her motherly skills to do it. She has traveled to Africa and will one day create a foundation that will provide funds to help the orphans in Africa get a good education. She has put her mothering skills to good use, although I wish she would have been given the opportunity to mother her own child.
Infertility stays with you forever. It’s the reason I blog even though I have children. It’s for Sally and all the women like her who are starting their infertility journey and for Suzie and all of the women like her who were denied their dream of mothering their own children. If you reach the other side of infertility, please remember the women that are still in the fight. They need you.
Creative Commons image courtesy of Graham Crumb.
» Filed Under Infertility | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
The Media and IVF
Posted on August 1, 2008
So, I had read a few blogs about Brad and Angelia’s supposed IVF treatment for twins. Today I picked up a US Weekly - which I think is the first time I’ve actually picked up that magazine to read anything - and flipped quickly to the horrid article. I gasped at least 3 times out loud and shook my head the entire time. It makes me sick that the media portrays IVF as a “quick” way to become pregnant and totally discounts the challenge of the disease. It also makes me feel ill that Brad & Angelina used IVF to help build their “soccer” team quicker.
As noted in a Forbes.com article, there are risks associated with fertility treatments and/or infertility. Why someone would view IVF as a quick pregnancy option or a quick way to build their family is incomprehensible to me.
The only good that can come of this is more media attention to the topic of infertility and fertility treatments. The only reason why the topic is getting any press at all is because of celebrities. Even the smallest of steps can help the overall cause - at least that is what I’m going to believe and keep hoping that someday the perception and empathy/compassion toward those struggling with infertility will be like any other disease.
» Filed Under Infertility | 3 Comments
A Few of My Favorite Things…
Posted on July 27, 2008
I’ll be out of town for training for the next week so I thought I’d link to some of my favorite posts and podcasts. In addition, I’ve listed a few of my favorite resource links. I’ll be back next week.
- “I felt like I wanted to die.”
- Why Do I Think Its Possible?
- Progressive Study from Malta
- Jimmy and Christine Moore - podcast
- How Would I Be?
- Why Are You Ashamed?
- The Things People Say - podcast
- Why Are You Ashamed?
Resources: About.com-Infertility, INCIID, RESOLVE, The American Fertility Association, Fertility LifeLines, Better Bedrest, and the March of Dimes
» Filed Under Infertility, Podcast, Resources | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
Infertility & Adoption with Kathryn (Twin Peas Pod Episode 11)
Posted on July 24, 2008
I’ve been waiting for weeks to post this podcast. Kathryn was gracious to allow me to re-interview her after the first recording had horrible sound quality. This interview has fantastic sound quality and its full of great content!
When the ability to become pregnant using the tradition methods doesn’t work many of us result to fertility treatments. All of the testing, poking, prodding, etc. isn’t for everyone. Others determine that they don’t want to even start fertility treatments and proceed with the adoption process without ever sticking themselves with one needle. Or some couples determine that after a few attempts with IUIs or IVFs they want to add a child to their family and they do so through adoption or surrogacy.
Adoption is a great way for some couples to build their families. I recognize that adoption is not for everyone and some couples choose to live child free. It’s a couple’s choice and a difficult one for many.
Kathryn and her husband decided that adoption was a better option for them than proceeding with a second IVF. They are the proud parents of boy/girl twins. If you didn’t know their children were adopted, you’d never know because they do look a little like Kathryn and her husband.
This is an inspirational story. Kathryn also gives some great advice about adoption alternatives and how to manage the process. As she mentions, adoption comes with it’s own set of challenges.
I hope you’ll leave your opinion about this interview in the comment section. Thanks for listening.
» Filed Under Infertility, Podcast, adoption | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
The Law of Attraction & Mindset
Posted on July 23, 2008
Do you believe that you create your own destiny? I do now, but I didn’t a few years ago.
Before my DH and I decided it was time to start trying to conceive (TTC) I joked that he was sterile. About 12 months after TTC his semen results showed poor sperm (slow swimmers, etc.). I had created our male factor infertility. In addition, my monthly cycles were irregular due to elevated prolactin levels. Prolactin is generated by the pituitary gland. According to Louise Hay medical conditions in the pituitary gland are associated with a need to control. Prior to and during our IF I was all about control. I wanted to control every aspect of my life and those around me, namely my husband and my mom.
Our RE determined that I had a pituitary tumor, hence the elevated prolactin levels. He recommended that I have an MRI every 6 months to monitor the tumor. Last year I asked my Ob/Gyn if he would run blood tests to see if my prolactin levels were still elevated. He said, “I don’t think that is necessary since you’re not trying to get pregnant.” So, I didn’t have any tests or a MRI. It’s been 4 years since our RE diagnosed the tumor and I have yet to have a follow-up MRI.
A few weeks ago I had my yearly appointment with a new Ob/Gyn. I asked her if we could test my prolactin levels and she happily obliged. I was curious to see if my prolactin levels were still high as my monthly cycles seem to be very regular, now that I don’t need them to be. The results were a surprise, my prolactin levels are within NORMAL range. How can this be?
During our infertility struggles I sought help from a counselor. One of the things we really worked on was reducing my need to control. I let go of needed or wanting to control my mom (mainly with regard to her finances - long story…). I finally realized that she is the only one who can control her financial situation. Nothing that I say or do will change her mindset, so I changed mine. I let go of needed to control my husband and instead learned how to communicate with him in a different way. Our relationship is better now that I’ve let go of needing to control it. I recognize that even though I have control over my life, I realized there is a difference between trying to control life and living life.
I put my IVF cycle solely in the hands of our RE. I didn’t try to control any aspect of our cycle except for my thoughts about it. I believed our IVF would be successful. Yes, I set myself up for disappointment, but I also helped my mind control my body so that it would accept the embryos they transferred into my body.
So, by letting go of my need to control I’ve been able to manage my health. This is amazing. Our mindset really can impact our lives.
Do you need to change your mindset?
Creative Commons image courtesy of mario’s planet.
» Filed Under Infertility, Personal Growth | 1 Comment
Celebrity Twins
Posted on July 21, 2008
If you visit the Celebrity Baby Blog you will see tons of posts about celebrity twins. With all of the twins being born by celebrities you have to wonder how many of them are IVF twins, don’t you? We know there are a few celeb twins who utilized IVF, but there are others who deny or don’t admit that they used fertility treatments - I don’t get that one. Anyway, I wanted to summarize a few of the celeb twin pregnancies and resulting births.
The newest addition to the celeb twin club is Angelina Jolie. The reports state that she was admitted to the hospital according to plan. I’m curious - who goes into the hospital for voluntary bed rest for 10 days? Not that insurance is a concern for her, but I don’t know many insurance policies that would pay for this. Not only that, but they delivered the babies 10 before their scheduled delivery “for reasons for comfort of the mom.” So, let me get this straight, everything was going okay for Angelina’s pregnancy, but she decides to check herself into the hospital 20 days before the “scheduled” delivery date (which I’m guessing was around 36 or 37 weeks gestation). Then they decide to move that day up by 10 days for her comfort? Following her delivery, she remained in the hospital for an extra 10 days, because “that is what they do in Europe.” Sounds pretty fishy to me. No one seems to know the original due date for the twins. But best guess puts in them around 35 weeks gestation (and their size is about right too). Keep in mind that Angelina has had a previous pregnancy, which is supposed to help women carry twins longer or with fewer complications.
Julia Roberts, who admittedly used fertility treatments, was on bedrest for one month when pregnant with her twins due to preterm labor. Her twins were born premature (born late Nov. 2004 and due Jan 2005).
Comedian Mo’Nique had twin boys who were born premature (weighing 3lbs 12 oz and 4 lbs). Mo’Nigue did have a previous child, but still became victim to delivering her twins prematurely. I guess having a previous successful pregnancy doesn’t always help (which I had recently read was something that helped prolong a twin pregnancy).
Marcia Cross, another celeb who admits to the use of IVF with no regrets, was placed on immediate bed rest when she was 28 weeks pregnant. She was able to get her preterm labor and/or other pregnancies complications in check as she had her twins only one month early.
Football player, Lawrence Tynes, and his wife, Amanda, had twin boys who where born two months premature. Their twins spent three weeks in the NICU.
Nancy Grace, a reporter with CNN, had her twins early too. (I think she utilized fertility treatments, but I’m not positive). She experienced pulmonary edema and her life was at risk. What many people don’t realize is that with twins and/or with age, pregnancy complications increase in rate of occurrence. Nancy is very happy to be a mom and recognizes that she is lucky to have two beautiful and healthy children given her health risks and the prematurity of her twins.
Actress Garcelle Beauvais-Nilson admitted to a 5-year struggle with infertility and conceived twins via IVF. Her twins were born at 34 weeks gestation. She had some pregnancy complications, but said “I was more than happy to have them out early” because of her weight gain. Please tell me that she didn’t say that.
No amount of money can buy you a healthy pregnancy. Infertility and prematurity don’t discriminate - they can happen to anyone. Both of these medical crises can happen to together. And speaking from experience, it’s not a lot of fun.
Please be cautious as you approach your fertility treatment plan and know your risks.
» Filed Under Infertility, Premature Births, pregnancy | 1 Comment
The Fertility Journal
Posted on July 18, 2008
Congratulations to Rachel at Just Another Mom Blog for winning the fertility journal. Please send me an email with your address so I can send it to you.
» Filed Under contest | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
Size May Determine Risk of Prematurity After IVF
Posted on July 18, 2008
A new study printed in the Washington Post may provide the answer that can reduce the risk of a woman delivering premature twins after a successful IVF. Aaron and Malky over at The Second Time Around posted a link to this article the other day and then discussed it in their most recent podcast. So, yes, I’m copying their material.
What I love about this study is that it is a proactive approach to managing prematurity associated with fertility treatments. Wouldn’t it be great to know in advance that your uterus is too small to carry multiples? Then you could use this information to discuss the BEST treatment option for you and your soon-to-be child(ren). With this knowledge, RE’s could help reduce the rate of infant mortality and prematurity. Shouldn’t this be part of their responsibility anyway?
But, will it really change the outcome? A friend of mine called me last night to tell me that she was pregnant and that she was hoping for twins this time (she has two other children). I said, “After reading my book and knowing what we went through you really want twins?” Of which she said, “Yeah, that kinda scares me, but I’d really love to have twins.” The reality is that she is less likely to give birth prematurely because she has carried two other babies full-term. So, if she is in fact pregnant with twins, I suspect (and hope) that she’ll carry them to at least 36 weeks.
Even knowing the risks, we are so fascinated by twins that we’ll assume the risk of prematurity. Until we experience prematurity first hand (similar with infertility too), we have no idea how devastating it can be. I’m lucky, as are most women who give birth to premature babies, that my girls are healthy today. However, what about those who are not so lucky. This is about preventing unnecessary suffering for women and their babies.
Will this information change how you approach your fertility treatments?
Creative Commons image courtesy of ewar woowar.
» Filed Under Infertility, Premature Births, pregnancy | 2 Comments
