Love
Posted on June 11, 2009
One of the most powerful emotions we experience is love. When I was younger it was easy to fall in and out of love. Once I fell out of love it was the end, forever. I’m not sure if it is the commitment of marriage or the wisdom that comes with age, but staying in love seems so much easier today than it was then.
While I believe that I married my soul mate, our love was truly tested during our infertility and then again right after our daughters were born prematurely. We managed to remain in love no matter how mad we became with one another. There were times I was ready to walk away, but I couldn’t do it. The pull to be with my husband was too strong. I didn’t want to live my life without him in it. The strength of a marriage can be truly amazing!
You can overcome most any obstacle when you have the power of love inside you and when you are receiving it in return. Infertility can test your love. It can turn lovers into enemies. It can cause happy marriages to fall apart. It can create a black hole inside of a woman’s (or man’s) heart.
Love. How can you incorporate more of it into your life?
» Filed Under Infertility, Marriage, Personal Growth
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2 Responses to “Love”
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Kelly,
What better topic to write about than love?
Infertility is one example of many of extreme adversity that can strain a marriage and cause stress and hurt feelings.
I believe one of the most important things for people to focus on in such times of strain is communication. If people are talking openly and honestly about their feelings, things are less likely to fester and people are less likely to misunderstand each other. I think communication is really important.
Also, I think sometimes couples need to remember the obvious… that they need to work as a team. It may sound like common sense but the fact is that sometimes severe adversity pits one partner against another. Clearly if they are working against each other rather than as a team it is going to be an uphill battle.
I also think it’s important for couples to have “dates” or some sort of special time together without anyone else. Too often people’s “dates” get less and less frequent over the years and then they wonder why they are drifting apart. Time together needs to be invested. It’s too easy to take each other for granted otherwise.
I agree with you, though, that the more years go by the stronger I feel the bond with my husband become. Without listing ad nauseum the list of adverse events that we have dealt with (just picture a soap opera and then multiply a few times to get to the drama level), I can honestly say that I feel closer to him now than ever.
Love is a very powerful thing indeed. It needs to be nurtured and respected.
Great post!
Jeanne
Our marriage was tested 100% with infertility challenges. We hadn’t even been married a year when we were going through this crisis. Over the next 4 years we were tested. We are lucky that we were able to connect and lean on each other.