I Knew Yesterday
Posted on October 9, 2008
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Usually a few days before my period starts I have horrible cravings for chocolate. This month, no cravings. I had a few other “imaginary pregnancy symptoms” aka IPS as Malky from Benedict Family and Rachel from infertility.about.com have coined the term. So much so that I had almost convinced myself that I was in fact pregnant. It ludicrious for me to even think it is possible, yet every couple of months I convince myself that it’s possible.
Yesterday I went to the mall mainly to visit the See’s Candy Store. I knew that today was going to be a disappointing day. And I was right, because today has reminded that I will never be pregnant again, and it surely won’t happen via spontaneous conception. I’m not getting any younger, nor is my husband. And the fact that he doesn’t want any more children makes it almost certain that he hasn’t engaged in any activities or surgeries to fix his male factor infertility. More than anything I just annoy the heck out of myself and feel like such an idiot. It brings me back to the months when we were actually trying to get pregnant and I would be hopeful every single month only to be disappointed. It’s not the same today as it was then, but it is still a bummer.
On to more positive topics…
Only a few days left for your chance to win a FREE $154 value Male Fertility Kit. For the next week (Oct. 9-Oct. 15) all you need to do is leave a comment on my blog over the next week to be entered in the contest.
For those of you who are RSS subscribers you’ve probably noticed that I have a FREE ebook I’m only offering to you. I hope you download a copy and find valuable information to help you along your journey. If you want a copy of my ebook titled 30 Questions to Ask your Doctor about Infertility and Treatments subscribe using the RSS button.
Soon I’ll be offering another FREE ebook titled Managing Your Relationships and Your Sanity During Infertility to visitors of my blog.
» Filed Under Infertility, contest
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My husband had a vasectomy in August 2007, but just a few months ago, I was convinced I was pregnant. I was 10 days late and feeling pregnant. I was scared and worried . . . and secretly thrilled! Of course I wasn’t pregnant, after all, and I felt a little let down. As a couple who had no problems getting pregnant with three healthy children, it was difficult for us to take the decision in our own hands to end my husband’s fertility. I know we made the right choice, but that doesn’t really make it any easier . . .
I’m sorry your having such a hard time with this. It’s hard to totally give up hope when it sounds like you still want this to happen. You don’t have to feel like an idiot - pregnancies have happened to couples who where told they could never have children no matter what.