How to Manage Your Marriage and Family During IF (Twin Peas Pod Epsiode 10)
Posted on June 19, 2008
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I’m excited to present the interview I conducted with Dr. Alan Singer, a marriage therapist from New Jersey. Dr. Singer and I both believe that marriage is something worth saving. However, I understand some times divorce is necessary (I’ve seen this in my own family). But, speaking as someone who contemplated divorce, not once, but twice, I am a proponent of working on your marriage — it is possible to be happy once again.
Dr. Singer believes the parents of adult children should take an active role in helping their child during times of struggle, especially during infertility. It can be a touchy subject for these parents because providing “advice” to their adult child might seem selfish or could be misunderstood. However, done correctly the communication between the parent and adult child can provide much needed support, either financially or emotionally.
During infertility, couples must open the lines of communication in order to keep their marriage intact. Sometimes a therapist can poke and prod in a way that is more effective than when a couple attempts to communicate on their own. My husband and I used both approaches. We seemed to communicate more effectively during our counseling sessions as our therapist kept us on track. However, we had many great conversations without the assistance of a therapist.
At one point during the interview Dr. Singer makes a somewhat controversial statement, based on a scientific study, that the best environment for a child is their biological family. I don’t think he meant any disrespect for families created through adoption. I hope you’ll agree.
Dealing with infertility is a very private, team effort. It does take a lot of work. Learn the priorities of your spouse so that you can better determine how you can move forward together. Dr. Singer and I wish you the best of luck!
To learn more about Dr. Singer visit his website www.familythinking.com, send him an email to inquire about his services (he can conduct long-distance therapy via Skype) at dralansinger@aol.com or regular mail at P.O. Box 4222, Highland, NJ 08904.
To read one of Dr. Singers news paper column articles visit this one on Supersized Families.
» Filed Under Infertility, Marriage, Premature Births
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Infertility is very stressful on a marriage and on other relationships within the family too. I had a great support system and don’t know where I would be today with out it! nclm
Great points! Thanks for sharing this!
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