Posted on March 4, 2008
cc photo courtesy of Flickr user aterracielo.
Listening to NPR one day I heard an author discuss depression, sadness, anger, etc. as requirements to appreciate the happy times in life. We tend to appreciate things more when they’ve been a struggle to obtain. My marriage is a great example of this. For almost 4 years of marriage I took for granted how easy my marriage was. I truly believed that I appreciated and loved my husband. Then came the day we contemplated ending our marriage because we disagreed on how far to go with infertility treatments. Today, I value our relationship and our marriage more than I could have imagined a few years ago.My twin daughters are another example. Today I took my daughters to a meeting with me. Generally, they are well behaved, but tonight they were restless. They were running around the room like mad-women. My meeting comrades were very gracious and thought it was funny. Thank goodness!Then, because the meeting ran later than I anticipated and Dave was working late I decided to stop at a restaurant for dinner — my logic, it would be quicker than cooking a meal at home. Ashley refused to sit down and kept putting her shoe on the table. Both girls did everything other than eat. By the time we left I was stressed out and frustrated they didn’t “conform” to good behavior.
Am I required to feel joy that I am a mother every moment of every day? Sometimes I believe I should. My girls are a true gift and I’m extremely grateful for IVF. There are times I marvel that they are mine and that this is my life. But, I have to remind myself that I have the right to be frustrated at times, otherwise, I might not truly appreciate the moments when my girls grab my face in their little hands and say “I love you mommy.”
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