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Love This Site Awards :: Parenthood for Me – DivineCaroline

Pass it along.

Here are the rules and instructions:

We need your help educating and spreading awareness by telling stories of Adoption and Infertility.Your favorite blog entry could be your submission. If you would like to enter someone else’s blog entry, email it here- make sure you know whether they want to remain anonymous from other readers . The winner will receive a Parenthood for Me t-shirt and the cutest hair clips from Ellebows & More, and their essay or blog entry will be posted on our blog and website and used in our literature.

1. Essay/ Blog entry 500 words or less
2. Topics can vary from IF, adoption, living childless, miscarriage and loss, surrogacy, birth parent view, open adoption
3. Deadline is May 1, 2009 10PM Eastern time
4. Email your submission to PFM and put “essay contest” in subject line
5. You can remain anonymous to other readers. Make sure you let me know.
5. Notify other bloggers or non-bloggers- spread the word!!!

To celebrate my anniversay, I’m having a contest. Enter to win by leaving a comment on or before February 9th. The prize is a “60 second hand fix” and matching mini-manicure set from Crabtree & Evelyn. Good luck.

To celebrate my one year anniversay, I’m giving away a Crabtree and Evelyn “60 Second Hand Fix” and matching mini-manicure set. Just leave a comment by February 9th to enter to win. Good luck!

Thanks Jeanne for your comments and great advice on the support groups. It’s been a blessing to connect with you.

Happy Holidays everyone!

I think I know what caused me to get sick – I’m harboring negativity. One of my clients is 60+ days late on paying his invoice. He keeps calling with promises of payment, but no check. He called about 3 weeks ago to tell me he was going to get me paid. No check. He called this Tuesday and said he was paying half and he verified with his bank the check had been mailed. Still no check. I’m  irritated with myself because I normally collect a retainer and I didn’t for this project because it was a quick turnaround. And I’m irritated with him for lack of payment. It’s totally disrespectful and bad business practices.

The other reason is because I hired someone to provide a service and they did a poor job. When I confronted them about it they made a bunch of excuses. Although I wasn’t surprised at their approach, I was disappointed because I had such high expectations about the services.

My body is telling me I need to process these two events and these two people out of my mind and my life. I’m hearing my body real clear. At the beginning of the year I’ll turn my client over to a collection agent – I know a good one. I will no longer be a participant in the collections and this will clear my mind for other things. Before the weekend, I plan on writing my final response to my service provider and move on.

Then yesterday my mom calls to tell me a family friend passed away. He was in his car driving to work. He was aware enough to pull off the road and into a parking lot. He had a massive heart attack and was found by the police. It’s so very sad. He was a young 60 and the partner of my mom’s best friend. I think I do a good job of letting my family and friends know how much they mean to me, but if something was to happen, would they really know? Today I called my husband for no reason and told him I loved him.

I hope you can take a leap and share honestly with your family and friends the struggles you’re facing. Even if they don’t reach out and support you, you’ve done your part in opening the door. You never know if you’ll get a second chance.

Keep in mind my story – horrible relationship with the in-laws just 4 short years ago. But now this is what our relationship is like: We had one of the best Thanksgiving holidays as a family last month. It was very enjoyable and everyone got along seamlessly. I’m hoping for the same next week. I’ve made so much progress with my in-laws. I would have never thought we would get to this place. But communicating with them over the years, openly, has worked to my benefit. It’s not their style, they prefer to keep everything bottled inside, but they’re listening to me and adapting well.

P.S. Book give-a-way ends tomorrow, Dec. 19th. Leave a comment to enter to win hope for the flowers by Trina Paulus.

After reading the article one of my thoughts was – who the heck had the idea to correlate sperm to intelligence. Is this something that adds value to the human race? Truly the money and time they spent in this study could have been used to study something much more useful. Maybe, what causes varicoceles (a collection of vericose veins in the scrotum) in men…just a thought.

Here’s the article in case your interested: BBC News, Intelligent ‘have better sperm.’

P.S. Leave a comment by Dec. 19th to enter the contest to win hope for the flowers book.

I’m evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they’re letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

• The best blogging techniques.
• How to get traffic to your blog.
• How to turn your blog into money.

I’ll let you know what I think once I’ve had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it’s still free.

Also, congratulations to Laurie at Quips and Tips for Couples Coping with Infertility for winning the November book giveaway, Hope Happens.

I’m not really surprised there has been little mention of November being a month to bring about awareness for premature babies. There was really no publicity for National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, which was October 15th. Or National Infertility Awarenss Week, which was October 19th-26th.

Why is it we give to little attention to infertility, loss, and premature babies, yet there is a ton of publicity for other medical issues? Can someone help me make sense of this?

P.S. To honor National Prematurity Awareness, I’m giving away 5 coupons for a free case, yes a full case, of Enfamil Lipil formula. The coupons expire 12/31/08 so you’ll need to take action fast. I’ll provide coupons to the first 5 people who email me with “Enfamil” in the subject line to info@twinpeas.com. I won’t use your email for any other purpose – I respect your privacy.

At this time too, my marriage was falling apart. My husband was less than supportive of my needs and continually put the feelings and needs of his family in front of mine. Even though I felt betrayed at times, I needed my husband. I would call him multiple times per day and give him the latest updates on our girls. It wasn’t appropriate for me to dump all of this bad news on my friends. It was hard to call my mom because I’d start to cry the minute she answered the phone.

In the middle of the month our ill daughter had surgery to remove part of her large intestine. Without the surgery she would have died. Watching a 5 week old, 4 lb baby being wheeled away to surgery was one of the most emotional experiences I’ve ever had. I paced and worried the whole time she was in surgery, but she returned and we were looking forward to her recovery. However, her first 3 days after surgery were the worst 3 days of her life (except for the day she first became ill when they gave her pain meds and she stopped breathing before the doctors had the vent attached…). She wasn’t getting better and I was devastated. But by the 4th day she started to show improvement and two weeks after surgery she came home with us.

The day we brought our twins home was Thanksgiving. It should have been a joyous occasion, but it wasn’t. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, miscommunications, and much more turned this holiday into a horrid day that ended up lasting for months.

Many times people get so caught up in their hurt feelings or opinions and forget what is going on with others. In our instance, no one was giving us (especially me) credit for all of the stress of infertility and then premature babies. They were focused only on what I did, and not the circumstances or events that took place prior to my actions (long story…). When it should have been about my daughters it was about them.

As the holiday season approaches remember that everyone is doing the best they can with the knowledge available to them. We could have avoided many of the mishaps of our Thanksgiving disaster if we had communicated better with my husband’s family. Also, we (especially me) should have established some rules – as horrible as that sounds it would have saved a lot of heartache and arguments – a safe space and safe topics.

Four years later I approach the upcoming holiday with apprehension, but also with an open mind. My relationship with the in-laws is better and we are able to enjoy family gatherings. Create a space that works for you – it’s amazing how this one small change spurred positive changes in my interactions with the in-laws.

P.S. Enter to win a free copy of Hope Happens, just leave a comment between now and Nov. 15th. This book has great quotes to inspire and calm you as you prepare for the crazy holiday season.

The rules: leave a comment between Nov. 1st and Nov. 15th on any post to be entered into the drawing.

As the holiday season approaches many of us may find it stressful when dealing with family and friends. This book will offer you inspiration quotes to get you through the holidays.

A BIG Thank You to East West Essentials for providing me a sample of their Male Fertility Kit to offer to one lucky reader. East West also has Female Fertility Kits, Pregnancy Wellness Kits, and supplements to help your body during infertility and pregnancy.

If you haven’t visited East West Essentials, I highly recommend you do so. Their products, including their fertility products, have been used by celebrities and touted on national TV by shows such as Extra!

Women who participate in the Take Back Your Period 10-week tele-class will:
- Know what is causing their menstrual imbalances emotionally and physically
- Keep work and play dates they previously canceled due to period problems
- Understand why certain foods exacerbate and cause hormonal problems
- Know which foods will decrease their symptoms and balance their hormones
- Get the support they need to make change possible

The class is $95/month. In 2009, the price for these classes will be $150/month. I encourage you to take advantage of this rate now. The October class is filling up – you can still enroll! Early enrollment for the November class begins this week. Both classes are 50 minutes each for 10 consecutive Mondays (with a 2 week holiday break for the November class – class price will not change). Classes begin:

October 13, 4pmEST/1pmPST.
November 17, 5:30pmEST/2:30pmPST.

Kristen is offering 3 FREE preview classes so you can decide if participating in the 10-week class is right for you. Here are the details for the free preview classes:

Friday October 10, 4pmEST/1pmPST
Friday October 24, 4pmEST/1pmPST
Friday November 7, 4pmEST/1pmPST

ALSO – Win a FREE Male Fertility Kit – a $154 value. Contest ends Wednesday. Want one? Leave a comment.

Yesterday I went to the mall mainly to visit the See’s Candy Store. I knew that today was going to be a disappointing day. And I was right, because today has reminded that I will never be pregnant again, and it surely won’t happen via spontaneous conception. I’m not getting any younger, nor is my husband. And the fact that he doesn’t want any more children makes it almost certain that he hasn’t engaged in any activities or surgeries to fix his male factor infertility. More than anything I just annoy the heck out of myself and feel like such an idiot. It brings me back to the months when we were actually trying to get pregnant and I would be hopeful every single month only to be disappointed. It’s not the same today as it was then, but it is still a bummer.

On to more positive topics…

Only a few days left for your chance to win a FREE $154 value Male Fertility Kit. For the next week (Oct. 9-Oct. 15) all you need to do is leave a comment on my blog over the next week to be entered in the contest.

For those of you who are RSS subscribers you’ve probably noticed that I have a FREE ebook I’m only offering to you. I hope you download a copy and find valuable information to help you along your journey. If you want a copy of my ebook titled 30 Questions to Ask your Doctor about Infertility and Treatments subscribe using the RSS button.

Soon I’ll be offering another FREE ebook titled Managing Your Relationships and Your Sanity During Infertility to visitors of my blog.

Then after our twins were born premature we had dinner with friends who came to visit us in the NICU. At dinner they informed us they were pregnant, of which we were very happy for them. At that time, as happy as I was for my friend I was envious too. Getting pregnant was easy for them. Yet, we were spending our days and nights at the NICU because our IVF twins had been born too soon. It was too soon for me to really embrace the fact that we finally had children and it no longer mattered how easy it was for everyone around us to build their families.

My counselor had told me that once we had kids that I would no longer judge people by how easy it was for them to have a baby or that I would no longer care. She was right and wrong. While my girls were in the NICU, it still hurt. It hurt that we had to struggle. It hurt that after our struggle to get pregnant, we had to manage the NICU experience – which might be worse than infertility, I’m still weighing that one – and deal with the stresses of managing two babies at once, and premature twins for that matter.

As my counselor predicted, as my girls have aged, I have become less worried about how long or how easy it is for those around me to get pregnant. I am thankful for my children and have somewhat gotten over how hard it was to get here.

So last week I joined a friend for happy hour. We were having a nice conversation and then she said so quietly that I almost had to ask her to repeat herself. But when I saw the tears I knew what had happened. My friend had one miscarriage about six months ago. It took her some time to get back into the swing of life and I’ve been trying to support her as much as she’d allow. There was a time where she wasn’t too receptive to getting together so I waited until she was ready. The tears told me what I had almost missed her say, she had a second miscarriage. She saw the heartbeat and her body had started to display the signs of pregnancy.

I am no longer envious of my friend who could get pregnant so easily. In fact, my heart bleeds for her. I truly cannot imagine how devastated she is and how sad it must be to loose a baby once life starts to grow within you.

I’m doing some research for my friend to learn more about miscarriages, what causes them, how to prevent them, etc. If you have any advice, articles or sources of information that might be helpful, please leave a comment with a link or way to contact you.  Thank you!

P.S. Have you entered my contest for a FREE Male Fertility Kit from East West Essentials? Please send an email to info@twinpeas.com to enter.

It’s been two years since he has seen my girls and I will be terribly disappointed if he flakes out on me again (he’s been saying he’ll come visit for the last year or so). Hopefully I get up the nerve to call him tonight. So inline with the “Trying to Let it go Tuesday” that my friend Mommy Meryl has created, I’m trying to let go of being disappointed. If he chooses not to visit it is he who is loosing out on the relationship and joy of my girls.

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Mommy Meryl has also bestowed an award on me, my first in the blogosphere. I’ve been procrastinating posting the blogs I am to award this too. It took me a few days to decide who I wanted to pass the award along too because lately I haven’t been very good at reading other blogs on a regular basis. So here is my list, in no particular order:

1. Benedict Family – a blog and podcast on infertility, secondary infertility and parenting

2.  A Million Moments of Kindness – positive stories about the good in the everyday acts of ordinary people

3. Mom to Twins Plus One – the life in the day of a busy mom after infertility

4. Rain’s Authentic Blog – always full of positive inspiration

5. GNMParents (okay, so I contribute to this one…it has good reading)

6.  A Soldier Girl (life) – a blog I enjoy every time I stop by during NCLM or ICLW

The rules of the award, pick 7 of your favorite blogs and post their names and links to their sites. The award is a photo so you just need to copy it (I hope it shows when I click “publish”).

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Last, but not least. I’ve been running a contest for you to win a FREE 30-day supply of The Male Fertility Kit with East West Essentials. I’ve been telling folks to use the RSS to enter the contest. We’ll I just found out that I cannot see individual RSS subscribers — I am so bummed and feel really dumb for not knowing more about this darn technology. So, if you have already entered the contest using the RSS or email options, unfortanatuely I don’t have any way to determine who you are. So PLEASE send me an email to info@twinpeas.com with your name and email address so I can enter your name into the drawing (must send me an email by October 15th). Thank you and sorry for the hassle!

It’s easy to be entered into the drawing for The Fertility Kit that will take place mid-October. You can enter by subscribing to this blog via the RSS feed or the email option. Or you can request one of my free ebooks (30 Questions to Ask your Doctor about Infertility and Treatments or Managing Your Relationships and Your Sanity during Infertility) by sending an email request to info@twinpeas.com.

If you are visiting from ICLW, see the About Me on right side of my blog. Thanks for visiting.

Click here to read the announcement.

Haven’t entered the contest to win a FREE 30 day supply of The Male Fertility Kit? Click here to learn more or use the RSS icon to subscribe to the Twin Peas Blog to be entered in the drawing.

We had a nice gathering with friends this weekend and we had a really great time. But Sunday rolled around and my mood was back to gloomy. My husband asked me what was wrong and I truly had no answer for him. Other than the once-a -month mood swings (which I’m currently in the midst of), I cannot put my finger on why I’m not my normal happy self. I must say, one week is a long time for the recent me to be blue.

I recently started an exercise routine and boy was I feeling on top of the world the first few weeks. But it hasn’t been helping me this past week. I also changed my diet to reduce white flour and added more fruit & veggies. I’ve started to finally loose some of the belly fat I’ve been carrying around for the last 4 years. So I should feel great, but I don’t. This weekend I did stray from my diet and ate a lot of white flour products. But I was feeling gloomy before I feel off the no white-flour wagon.

The one thing that might be most irritating – I know that it’s a choice. I could choose to be happy. I could choose to pull myself out of the blues. So why don’t I? We’ll that’s the question I’ve been asking myself the past 3 days. Although, I’ve heard that we need to experience the lows in order to truly appreciate the highs because it’s not possible to be happy all of the time.

So today I’m seeking help. What do you do to pull yourself out of your gloomy stages?

P.S. Want to win a FREE month of The Male Fertility Kit from East West Essentials? Click here to learn more.

Male Factor (MF) fertility is very common. East West Essentials has offered to provide one of my readers a 30-day supply of their Male Fertility Kit. It’s an honor for me to help another couple who is dealing with MF infertility.

How can you win a FREE 30-day supply of this awesome product, you ask? A $154.00 value! You can either subscribe to the Twin Peas blog using the RSS feed (the little orange button to the right of this post) or by using the email subscription option. In addition, you can be entered into the drawing by requesting free copies of excerpts of my book, Tiny Toes, by using this link. I respect your privacy and will not sell your email address. However, I will provide email addresses to East West Essentials as a thank you to them for allowing me to give away one of their products on my blog.

The contest will last for 30 days. I’ll reference this contest in every post for the next month. Remember you must provide your email address in order to be eligible for the drawing to win the Male Fertility Fertility Kit.