Twin Peas Blog and Podcast » Children

Twin Overload

Kelly — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 16:18:32 +0000

Yesterday I enjoyed a short outing at the mall with a friend of mine who has twin boys (IVFers). It was fun to see how people ooh-and-aah over baby twins versus my almost 4-year olds. It was one of the first times I’ve been out in public where people haven’t been staring at me or my daughters and I must say it was a nice change!

My friend, Sally, is currently in twin overload. It’s what I refer to as the complete exhaustion of having two babies at once. At some point after you’ve been parenting two at once you get so gosh-darn tired that you can barely function. This is where Sally is right now. The last few times I’ve talked with her she has made a point to let me know how tired she is. I’m am so thankful we survived those days and can totally appreciate where she is coming from.

No matter what I say on my blog, or what resources I provide, I know that women going through fertility treatment are longing for a baby, or two or three. They want to be pregnant so bad that they’ll take the chance of a twin pregnancy or even triplets. I understand, I was there too. But I hope that you’ll go into your IVF cycle with more awareness about the risks of twins than my husband and I did.

Anyway, as I was listening to the Benedict Family’s podcast yesterday (they changed the name of it and I cannot remember what they call it now) they were providing the results of their survey. I was surprised and thankful to hear that the majority of the voters would choose 2 embryos to transfer during an IVF cycle rather than 3 or more. Very few voters chose the option of 1 embryo during a transfer, which I can appreciate and totally understand.

My point, even as your twins age and things become easier there will still be those days where you are physically drained (and sometimes emotionally too). Having two children at the same age presents many different challenges than having two children at different ages. And while having a set of twins can be fun, there are truly many advantages to having a single baby (like not having both of your kids start school at the same time – something I’m truly dreading!).

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As an RSS subscriber, you are entitled to a FREE copy of Kelly's latest ebook, Thirty Questions To Ask Your Doctor About Infertility And Treatments . Grab it here!

I’ll take the Bad with the GOOD.

Kelly — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 05:23:56 +0000

cc photo courtesy of Flickr user aterracielo.

Listening to NPR one day I heard an author discuss depression, sadness, anger, etc. as requirements to appreciate the happy times in life. We tend to appreciate things more when they’ve been a struggle to obtain. My marriage is a great example of this. For almost 4 years of marriage I took for granted how easy my marriage was. I truly believed that I appreciated and loved my husband. Then came the day we contemplated ending our marriage because we disagreed on how far to go with infertility treatments. Today, I value our relationship and our marriage more than I could have imagined a few years ago.My twin daughters are another example. Today I took my daughters to a meeting with me. Generally, they are well behaved, but tonight they were restless. They were running around the room like mad-women. My meeting comrades were very gracious and thought it was funny. Thank goodness!Then, because the meeting ran later than I anticipated and Dave was working late I decided to stop at a restaurant for dinner — my logic, it would be quicker than cooking a meal at home. Ashley refused to sit down and kept putting her shoe on the table. Both girls did everything other than eat. By the time we left I was stressed out and frustrated they didn’t “conform” to good behavior.

Am I required to feel joy that I am a mother every moment of every day? Sometimes I believe I should. My girls are a true gift and I’m extremely grateful for IVF. There are times I marvel that they are mine and that this is my life. But, I have to remind myself that I have the right to be frustrated at times, otherwise, I might not truly appreciate the moments when my girls grab my face in their little hands and say “I love you mommy.”

As an RSS subscriber, you are entitled to a FREE copy of Kelly's latest ebook, Thirty Questions To Ask Your Doctor About Infertility And Treatments . Grab it here!

Attachment Disorder

Kelly — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 21:22:25 +0000

Often times I tell people my daughters have ‘Mommy Attachment Disorder.’ The other day my husband and I were asked how often we get away for “couple time.” Dave looked at me with ‘the look’ he often gives me when people ask questions like this. Okay, so mommy has ‘Kaley and Ashley Attachment Disorder.’ When my husband is home all I want to do is spend time together as a family. Is this such a bad thing?

Dave and I really do need some time alone so that our relationship remains healthy, because without us loving and appreciating each other there really is no family. At the same time, I enjoy each and every minute with my girls that I have a hard time wanting to do something without them.

I’m getting ready to go out of town for 3 days/nights without my girls or Dave and I’m stressed and freaked out about it. I wonder, am I like this because becoming a mom was full of challenges with infertility and prematurity? Do I appreciate the little things more or are all moms like this?

As an RSS subscriber, you are entitled to a FREE copy of Kelly's latest ebook, Thirty Questions To Ask Your Doctor About Infertility And Treatments . Grab it here!