Marriage and Fertility
Posted on June 30, 2009
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Everyone has an opinion about John and Kate’s divorce announcement. I only watched the show once or twice. It seemed that Kate was not the nicest person and I just didn’t get into watching them manage their lives as I have my own issues and stresses to deal with. Many people believe that the cameras destroyed their marriage. I’m sure that played a big part. Their standard of living also changed, sometimes this can create conflict, even when the finances are no longer a struggle.
But I do like the message in this article from the Washington Post, John and Kate Plus Health Care. The stress of high-multiples is something that you can only truly appreciate if you have them. Many couples think they would welcome twins, or even triplets into their family. But can you imagine 6 babies at once? As sleep deprived and stressed out as I was with just twins, I cannot even fathom how a couple can manage quads or sextuplets.
Do you think insurance coverage would make the impact the author is suggesting? I do think there is some truth to her message/opinion.
P.S. Thanks to RESOLVE for posting a link to this article via Facebook.
» Filed Under Infertility, Marriage, Resources | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
Male Infertility
Posted on June 28, 2009
Everyone assumes fertility issues only effect women, but more than one-third of infertility issues are male factor. Fertility LifeLines is offering a 20-page booklet on the topic of male infertility, called In The Know: What No One Tells You About Male Fertility.
The booklet addresses lifestyle as well as health reasons that cause infertility. Also, it offers tips to deal with stress and talk with your doctor about tests, etc.
For more information visit the Fertility Lifelines In the Know webpage. To get your FREE copy call 1-866-Lets-try (1-866-538-7879).
» Filed Under Infertility, Resources | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
June 25th Advocacy Day
Posted on June 24, 2009
It’s time for women and men who struggle with infertility to speak about their experiences. RESOLVE is organizing an Advocacy Day in Washington, D.C. on June 25th. If you are in the DC area, consider scheduling your appointment to be heard. Visit the RESOLVE website for more information.
Twitter about this event too: “June 25 is RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day, visit resolve.org for ways to get involved.”
Become a RESOLVE Fan on Facebook.
» Filed Under Infertility, Resources, Womens Issues | 2 Comments
Learn
Posted on June 21, 2009
A few weeks ago I wrote about how self-educating myself during our infertility journey helped me in discussions with our doctors as well as overall peace of mind. One thing that I didn’t do well was learn how to read or communicate well with my husband during that time in our lives. We worked though these issues, and I applied what I learned about our relationship, body language, and such when our girls were in the NICU.
For seven weeks I communicated effectively with the medical staff in the NICU. I sat by my daughters’ bedsides and watched their every move and their every breath. I knew the details of their medications, schedule, status, etc. During rounds the doctors would often ask me my opinion about how my daughters were doing that day. They knew that I knew more about my girls than any of the nurses on staff.
A few days after my daughter Copy Cat had surgery she wasn’t eating. Before she had surgery she was having trouble breathing, something we learned that was due to the pain she had because of her illness. After her surgery she was breathing wonderfully. In addition, she was a great pink color and somewhat active. All characteristics lacking when she was ill. The nurses panicked because she wasn’t eating and thought she might be getting sick again. I thought she wasn’t eating because she was tired and her poor little body hadn’t been used to so much food. One of the NNP’s asked me what I thought. I gave her my opinion and they adapted Copy Cat’s feeding based on my feedback.
So, my lesson learned was that preparing yourself through self-education on a topic is helpful, but learning how to read and help your loved ones, we’ll that’s when you can make a real difference in the quality of their and your lives.
» Filed Under Infertility, Personal Growth, Premature Births | 2 Comments
Advocacy Day
Posted on June 18, 2009
June 25th, next Thursday, is Advocacy Day as designated by RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. What is Advocacy Day? It’s a day where the voices of the infertile community come together to tell their stories to the law makers in hopes of seeing change in health insurance coverage and other rights associated with Assisted Reproductive Technologies.
RESOLE will train you for the interviews. They do all of the work, all you need to do is tell your story!
To register to share your story and learn more about the days events visit the RESOLVE website.
» Filed Under Infertility | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
Fret Not
Posted on June 15, 2009
Okay, so not fretting when you are experiencing a health crisis can be a joke. I’ve been through a few of them and remaining clam wasn’t something I always did well. Even my husband, who is totally laid-back, started to fret or at least make a bigger deal out of his recent lab results than was necessary. It’s human nature. But it’s not productive. Been there, done that.
When my husband and I were diagnosed with our infertility I was obsessed in seeking out the ‘why’ and the ‘now what’ answers. Every answer I found only lead me to become more distraught over our situation. That was until we met our doctor. He was so confident that he could help us and his demeanor helped improve my outlook on the procedures. Once we started our IVF cycle, I was no longer obsessed. I stopped focusing on the negativity of our infertility. I gave up the need, the desire, to know absolutely everything about our treatment, the drugs, the tests, etc. Once I let go, the process unfolded fairly easily. I had been standing in my own way. (I do this a lot in other areas of my life too).
So, when we our twins were born premature and had to be hospitalized for a length of time, I trusted the process. That doesn’t mean I didn’t ask the doctors and nurses a ton of questions. Instead, I found myself acting as though I was part of my daughters medical team. I found that by doing this, even though I was worried about their daily progress, I worried less than I might have otherwise. Empowered with information, I wasn’t obsessed about learning everything that could go wrong with a 30 week baby. When my daughter Copy Cat became ill, I used the knowledge from the doctors and nurses as my guide, not the Internet. I was stressed out. I was scared for their health and survival. But I was grounded and realistic.
While it is challenging not to fret about all that is wrong or all that could wrong, studies prove that stress and negativity only make the situation worse. I’m not going to tell you to relax as I see a big difference between relaxing and fretting! Although relaxing might help, good luck doing so if you are struggling with infertility or your baby is in the hospital. The worry, though, is something that is easier to manage - at least I found that to be the case.
What do you do to stop the worry? When you get upset, how to do come back down?
» Filed Under Infertility, Personal Growth, Premature Births | Please Share Your Thoughts; Leave a Comment!
Love
Posted on June 11, 2009
One of the most powerful emotions we experience is love. When I was younger it was easy to fall in and out of love. Once I fell out of love it was the end, forever. I’m not sure if it is the commitment of marriage or the wisdom that comes with age, but staying in love seems so much easier today than it was then.
While I believe that I married my soul mate, our love was truly tested during our infertility and then again right after our daughters were born prematurely. We managed to remain in love no matter how mad we became with one another. There were times I was ready to walk away, but I couldn’t do it. The pull to be with my husband was too strong. I didn’t want to live my life without him in it. The strength of a marriage can be truly amazing!
You can overcome most any obstacle when you have the power of love inside you and when you are receiving it in return. Infertility can test your love. It can turn lovers into enemies. It can cause happy marriages to fall apart. It can create a black hole inside of a woman’s (or man’s) heart.
Love. How can you incorporate more of it into your life?
» Filed Under Infertility, Marriage, Personal Growth | 2 Comments
Education
Posted on June 8, 2009
Thanks to the Internet it is easy to become knowledgeable about most anything. I often tell people that I think knowledge is power. With knowledge we can have very different conversations with our nurses and doctors (or friends and family members too). When you know their terminology it changes how they treat you. It changes the questions you ask. You become less intimidated by them.
The challenge of educating ourselves is to know what is true and what is not. For example, one of my friends is pregnant with twins after 8 years of infertility treatments. She has had some medical complications. She is also a nurse so she is comfortable with the terminology and isn’t afraid to ask questions. However, like the rest of us, she can find the most horrifying condition and speculate that is the one she has. My husband recently did the same thing — he thought he had liver disease when all it seems to have been was a virus.
My friend told me that since she was having some issues she decided to do some research herself. She then presented facts and some of her finding to her doctor. She told me that had she not brought up the possible outcomes of her medical condition the doctor might not have discussed any of the potential outcomes with her. If one of her diagnoses is correct, it could hamper the survival of one of her twins. A fact the doctor doesn’t seem to be too concerned with and a fact that scares her to death.
Doing our own research or learning more about the “what-ifs” can prepare us to ask our doctors the tough questions. What methods do you use to educate yourself about your infertility, your pregnancy, or your premature baby?
» Filed Under Infertility, Personal Growth, Premature Births, pregnancy | 2 Comments
